


It's Quiet Uptown

by emospaceboi



Series: bare: A Pop Opera One-Shots [2]
Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Hamilton Lyrics, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 18:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emospaceboi/pseuds/emospaceboi
Summary: Isaac McConnell, Jason's father, walks around town, completely lost after the suicide of his son. Blaming himself, he believes God has forsaken him, his wife hates him, and his daughter can't stand being around him.But could there be a spark of hope?





	It's Quiet Uptown

_There are moments that the words don't reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can, and push away the unimaginable. The moments when you're in so deep that it feels easier to just swim down. The McConnells move uptown, and learn to live with the unimaginable._

Isaac McConnell found himself spending hours in the garden. He walked alone to the store. It's quiet uptown. He could feel the people staring at him as he walked passed, the homophobe who drove his gay son to commit suicide. He never liked the quiet before. He took Nadia to church on Sunday, actually spending time with the girl he neglected, and as he saw a sign of the cross at the door, he prayed.

That never used to happen before

"If you see him in the street, walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity," a woman gossiped to her friend in the pew behind him.

Isaac shook his head, begging to God for this all to just be a nightmare. He wanted his son back, he didn't care who he had sex with, he just wanted him to be alright. "Jason, you would like it uptown, it's quiet uptown..."

It was pointless. God has forsaken Isaac, that much he was sure of. He was a monster, he killed his own son. He may not have pulled the trigger but he sure as hell cocked the gun. Not even God could forgive him for doing something like that.

The other woman shook her head. "He is going through the unimaginable."

His hair had gone gray, his beard unshaven, he passes everyday, they say he walks the length of the city. Maybe that was true, it sure felt like that was what he was doing now.

"You knock me out, I fall apart," Isaac remembered taking him to baseball practice, forcing private golf lessons, forbidding sleepovers with his friend Peter. He hated himself so much, this was all his fault. He did love Jason, his son, he meant everything to him, but Isaac was just so damn selfish that he couldn't see the internal pain he was putting his son through by forcing him to have the life he wanted him to have.

A girl noticed him crying on a park bench. Her mother took one look at his face and held her daughter's hand tightly, pulling her away. "Can you imagine?"

It was late at night. Isaac's wife was still ignoring him. Ever since their son died, she had only spoken once—to thank Peter for loving her son. But then she shut down, becoming no more than an automaton. Isaac had caught her in the garden, sobbing her eyes out. When she noticed her husband, she shut down again.

Isaac sat down next to her on a bench. "Look at where we are. Look at where we started... I know I don't deserve you, Bethany," he had lied to her, had several affairs with several other women behind her back, but he loved her, he really did. "But hear me out, that would be enough," she blamed herself just as much as she blamed Isaac for their son dying. She shouldn't, she hadn't shouted about how homosexuals were ruining the country, Isaac had. "If I could spare his life, if I could trade his life for mine, he'd be standing here right now," a tear streamed from Bethany's beautiful blue eyes. Her husband wiped it away, giving a bittersweet smile. "And you would smile, and that would be enough. I don't pretend to know the challenges we're facing. I know there's no replacing what we've lost," the woman broke down again, covering her face in her skirt, holding her knees close to her chest. Jason had looked like his mom. "And you need time. But I'm not afraid," he went for her hand, but she snatched it out of the way. "I know who I married. Just let me stay here by your side—" Bethany pushed him away, running towards the house, sobs filling the empty garden as she ran off. Isaac sighed. "That would be enough..."

"If you see him in the street, walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity," the woman from the church muttered to her friend.

Isaac was so excited when his wife agreed to walk the town with him. "Bethany, do you like it uptown? It's quiet uptown"

The other woman sighed at Isaac trying so hard to please his wife. "They are trying to do the unimaginable."

"Look around, look around, Bethany," Isaac pointed out all the beautiful things in their beautiful city, and for the first time in a almost a year, Bethany smiled.

There are moments that the words don't reach. There is a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand--we push away the unimaginable. They are standing in the garden, Isaac by Bethany's side. She takes his hand.

"It's quiet uptown," she whispered.

Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

If you see them in the street, walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity. They are going through the unimaginable.

 


End file.
